Sometimes I'm Afriaid. (BEDA 4)

I'm selfish enough to wanna get better, but I'm backwards enough not to take any steps to get there. And when you realize it's a pattern, and not a phase, it's what you've become and it's what you will stay. That's ballgame. 'Cause I don't got room in my life for anyone else. And I've driven away all the people that could help. And I still don't even know what I need to do to fix myself.

Failed (BEDA 3)

There isn't much to say about a day where you worked eight hours. My day was dedicated to McDonalds, luckily it won't be the same tomorrow. I still have a six hour shift, but it's in the morning so my afternoon and evening are wide open!

However, I did loose my labret, the bar that goes in my lip, at work. I left my purse and home, so I had to take it out and I decided it would be safe in my pocket. Unfortunately it was not. Half way through my shift I put my hand in my pocket to check on it, and it was gone. The second I was off work my mom and I were rushing down to West Bend to see if any shops that would sell facial jewelry were open.

When I got home I got a text from Dexter telling me that he was home earlier than he'd expected and wanted to hang out with me. I obliged and we went out for coffee. He told me all about New Orleans and North Carolina. It sounds like he had a fantastic time and I'm rather sad I didn't get to go along.

-Ashley Reyn

Haven't heard from my Taurus and I miss him.

AMV Marathon (BEDA 2)

Look at me, two days into my project and I'm already trying to get out of it. I found myself laying in bed after an exciting evening of watching “America's Funniest Home Videos” on YouTube with Lauren, Chris, and Jeremy thinking that I really needed to get up and write an entry, but sleep was just calling my name. No, I didn't actually sleep, but I did wrestle with myself for a good hour/hour and a half trying to decide if I wanted to get out from my covers and venture into the kitchen to type out a quick entry. I'll save you the gory details since you already know how it ends.

The majority of my day sucked in the “I have nothing to do so I'll sit here and watch the L Word all day and eat some spaghetti” kind of way. When 4:30 finally rolled around I nearly screamed in a fit of joy, and I quickly scrambled to my cell to give Jeremy a quick call to make sure we were still getting together. When he finally got here we drove on over to Lauren's and just caught up. They had a funny story of communal car adventures. At some point we decided we were starving so we walked on up to Pop's Custard to get dinner and we laughed and joked. We split a banana split and the gutter jokes just kept rolling off our tongues.

Jeremy told me of his woes and I tried to assure him that he has plenty of time left, and worrying will only make his struggles worse. I doubt he believed me, I am three years younger. I wish I could make his life simpler, but the only way to do that would be to love him, and that's just not something I'm interested in. He's a good friend, but we did the dating thing and we just aren't compatible. I think he agrees. I hope he agrees.

I did some Zodiac research. Simply because I'm a dork in that sense, and I found that I am a Capricorn in just about EVERY way. It's a little obnoxious how well I fit the description. It told me that my two perfect matches are Virgo and Taurus. I can't wait to see where my life goes with my Taurus. /mushylovestuff

-Ashley Reyn

BEDA 1 (Recap)

I feel like I start projects online, and before they even hit their infancy, they take their downward spiral. Though, I suppose this downward spiral could be chalked up to the fantastically busy summer I've been having. That could be construed as a positive, right? Nonetheless, here I am, with the knowledge that I am terrible with daily happenings and habits. This is my one last time attempting to blog everyday. (For the month of August.) Now, before you tell me that August has started, I know! It's had a strong start at that! But I like the sound of BEDA and I've always wanted to attempt such a thing.
Today won't be the fascinating day that it should be so as I sit here, in the air conditioning of the library, I will give you a recap of my summer. I would say just August, but truly too much has happened to pretend you just know.

June:
I welcomed in this year's June while in Utah. I was chatting up family, searching for apartments, basking in the dry heat of the desert, and enjoying the luxury of having a car to drive. All while terribly excited to be finished with my first semester of college. During this week I came out to my uncle, it wasn't taken lightly, but he was respectful and assured me that he still loves me. Success? I should say so.
A week after we got home I had my drivers test. That whole week I spent my time getting behind the wheel and practicing myself to tears, because there was no way I'd walk away from the DMV without a license in hand for the second time. All of my practicing was well worth it too, after 20 minutes of the test I was back in the lobby of the DMV listening to all the things I'd done wrong when she looked at me, smiled and said “Congratulations, you are a fresh new driver!” I passed, and I totally borrowed that car more times that I
was technically allowed.
The end of June was spent moving my stuff from my dad's place to my mom's with the help of Eric, Vicky, and James. It was a whole lot of work, but a whole lot of fun. After the move day the four of us took a trip to a local park and while Eric and James played card games, Vicky and I took pictures. My best friend is my best model and I love it.

July:
I sprang into July with high hopes for my relationship and I watched them tumble like a sack of potatoes not even two days into the month. The break up was ridiculous and the reason even more so. I am glad to know the reason behind his behavior, but it makes me regret giving him the time of day. I vowed I would not put up with such treatment ever again, and I won't. It was unacceptable.
I got a job at the beginning of July and I spent most of my time working and hanging out with friends. Mostly just Lauren and Chris, we've gotten really close this summer. There was one really hot summer day when we went into C-burg to go swimming and the three of us had the time of our lives.
My uncle flew me out to Utah at the end of July for my cousin's wedding and it was honestly fantastic. I've never had such a great time with my family, and I know that they will always be number one in my heart.

So here I am in August. I've been working a lot, which is good. It means I'm earning money, and money is always a help to have. I've been struggling with my attempt at making MATC work out. I have optimism, I just hope it's not foolishly placed, that things will work themselves out. I've decided though, that even if I'm not at MATC in the fall, January will be a good alternative.

-Ashley Reyn